Holy Spirit lives within me

Today I went to a gathering in Christian School where everyone, most i don't know, study university from overseas came to worship, hear a message and do sharing. I became a team that during offering I pass out the bag to people to put money inside. Originally I was in welcome team but it seem not very many people came so I was assigned to different task.

The message was good, the pastor preach that the Holy Spirit lives within me can changed me to a different person. That make people to like me, enjoy be with me, want to be with me and miss me when I am gone. It is because of the power of Holy Spirit that changes my mind, action, behaviors and instantly attract someone to me. I don't know if I have those or not but I do believe in the Power of Holy Spirit and He can do miracles because He is the master of making miracles and surprises like super good.

Like in Book of Acts, where the disciples and many believers waited in the roof for the Holy Spirit Jesus promise them. After many years or days of waiting, some people maybe waver their waiting or belief. We human tend to be impatient when we don't see the result God promise us after for so long and so are the disciples and believers that witness Jesus went to Heaven. Furthermore, their group meeting is very small compare to people who are busy working and minding their own business outside. So small, so insignificant and doesn't care to many people. Yet, when the Holy Spirit finally came, it came as a gushing wind that shake the place and make a lot of noises that it make many people wonder what's the sound came from and many people gather at that place to see what's happening. Furthermore, it astonished the people as they hear the disciples speak in different language but language that people all over the world or across nations speaks. Also it changes the believers who can speak in tongue and it transformed them completely into a different person and people have different perspective of them. For example, Peter who is boldly follow Jesus and denied Him 3 times became a new person who do wondrous miracles and set the first church as Jesus promise Him. With the helper of Holy Spirit, Peter was able to connect to God and pour out his spirit to God.

Now I know, Holy Spirit lives within me... but sometimes I don't see I can make a difference with people... whether I am gone they miss me or not or it's just a usual farewell miss and they forget about me in the future. However, I have faith that Holy Spirit and God can do that. Yes I don't see it with my physical two eyes but I believe my presence with the work of Holy Spirit can make an impact. In my workplace, with my friends environments and around people. I maybe sad or feel longing for that kind of thing but I restain and forget about it because I know You Lord can do far more better and exceed my expectations and my minds. I know You're working inside, outside and with me. I may feel insignificant and unseen by many people even my friends when I help them in small yet for them insignificant. I may not get an applause or complementary of my deeds but I do have faith that God can changed my heart and I do these things because I want to love people as God love me and also I have a standard and imagine myself as a generous, loving, kind, smart and patience individual or how God picture me what should I be according to the Bible.

You know many people still said I look skinny... In a way that they said I don't look fresh because i'm too skinny, I don't look pretty because I'm too skinny and I'  not attractive because i'm too skinny. When I see the people around me I hardly find people who are as skinny as me. They are either normal, not too skinny, a bit chubby or chubby. Now I heard being skinny is a jealous of every women but i think my skinny type is not. I just don't find people my type of skinny to be jealous of. Instead my family like my aunt or my mom's friends said I need to eat more. Well yeah I'm trying to eat more here but what if I cannot be fatter like they expected me to be? what If i'm just a bit fat and that's the maximum. I really don't like people judge me with how skinny i am when i'm trying to be not.  I sometimes find it sad people never compliment me how pretty and just never accept me as I am.

That is why I learn to trust God. I remind myself that I am pretty, righteous in front of God of what Jesus has done in the cross. God picture me as beautiful and pretty and he compliment me when no one else does (my friends in internet or outside). I'm going to be peace with and embrace myself that I am this skinny and I need to eat a lot to make it a bit fat but I first need to remember God design and love me who I am and He knows all the hairs, pimples in my face and the fatness in my body. If He can changed me inside then I know He can changed me outside naturally.

And the Holy Spirit that lives with me can changed me into a different person inside and out and can make impact with people. So with this lesson I learn from my message and my worries or troubles I learn that Holy Spirit can only changed me and changed people of how they see me. God want me to change internally and spiritually first then out. Therefore, no matter what people said about my skinnyness and whether people miss me or complement me... I just put my trust and expectation to God because if I do it myself I will be disappointed and hate the people which is not healthy. I can change I just need time and will go flow with God's timing.

1 Corinthians 2:9King James Version (KJV)

9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

I am Brave and Strong to walk and dive into the unknowns that cause no fear but prosperity and peace because God is with me and He is there already. My faith and spirit want to go further down deeper than anyone could be and I have firery passion to do so because I just like unexpected and different and something many people cannot do but I can do because God chose me and He strengthened me with unspeakable wisdoms that is unknown to men.